Tinder Memoirs of a Feminist - to be continued

Hi. I'm Jaime. And I'm here to tell you that it's OKAY to have Tinder. Really, I don't want to hear your sheepish explanations of how you're on it "ironically" or whatever. I've made them too. and will probably continue to make them as a sort of social reflex. but in truth, I think there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. 

Picture this. You're 18. You've been in two relationships, both of them short-lived and neither of them even remotely involving the elusive and sought-after concept of love. You've been single a while. And you really just want to get out there, meet people, have new experiences, embrace spontaneity and pour back a few pitchers of sangria with a stranger that might become a hot-sex prospect/something in that arena. You have nothing to lose and you're flexible, adventurous and open to trying anything. Except meth. One lonely night you are restlessly rolling around in your twin bed at your mom's suburban home dreaming of something more than this. The last person you kissed was your best friend on a bathroom floor in a condo while being high on M for the first and only time. You had to keep yelling at angry bathroom-users to "FUCK OFF AND USE THE LADIES' ROOM!". Basically, you've had it. So, you do the unthinkable. After much deliberation, you rationalize downloading the notoriously stigma-ridden yet increasingly more acceptable hook-up app, Tinder. 

It ends up being fun. And also, as many others can likely testify, a great way to inadvertently conduct your own social research project on sexuality and gender differences. Upwards of 10 of my matches commented on how I was (one of) the only girls to initiate a conversation. This is not exactly groundbreaking news. We still live in a culture where a girl is encouraged to play hard to get and where every self-help article tells women to hold back and mute their initial sexual desires, if they want a lasting, real relationship. The fact that the sentiment of "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free" is still echoing through the poor heads of women floating around in the matrix of modern dating is a major problem. First of all, the "cow" is also getting milk from another cow! The cows are consensually milking each other, and in theory, benefitting equally! Everything is reciprocal; and a woman is not simply a commodity to be "milked". Furthermore, if a woman chooses to wait, that's her personal decision. But it shouldn't be because she feels that she will be cheapened or seen as "easy" if she fucks a guy on the first date. If she's great in bed on the first date, chances are that same chemistry will still be around on, say the 15th date... or over the course of a relationship. Of course no one assumes someone is "the one" on the first date. So how should you know whether or not to go for it? If anything, having sex or sexual encounters right away is an easy way to tell if you're compatible with someone. Or not. Believe me.