just when my dopamine levels were dropping
and so were my prospects
i remembered my secret and adoring superpower at my disposal, tucked safely away in my backpocket:
the 1:18 cig
i can steal you away to a secluded corner
and inhale your deep, vast, understanding calm
i can fuck you with my mouth
knowing the wonderful truth that my indifference to you makes you exponentially more effective
i can have my weekly, sometimes monthly treat
sometimes sober, mostly drunk
i can buy you and i can love you
but i won't ruin you and jade you
no
because you wont give me those intense shivers of pleasure or immense feeling of zen
if i fuck you in my sad mouth every day
youll just fool my brain and enslave me and label me
plus i dont even want to
with regularity and mundanity your appeal dissolves completely
no
youre my 1:18 cig and youre always there and youre always secret unless
i dont want you to be
youre my secret friend who doesnt expect to use me in any way
you just like it when i come around
its a pleasant surprise
you fill me with euphoria, make my breath smell like bitter coffee
you make me a grownup
even if i rub you up against a brick wall and save you for another anxious or drunk night
once ive ridden out the high
so this ones for you
and for how you give me that little friendly push and reinforce my loneliness in a happy way
my 1:18 cig
pretty sure this lil lady could use a 1:18 cig!
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