drafts//stutters

Hey I just want you to know that I did not intend to cuddle with you yesterday and don’t know what circumstances led to that happening. Like I just remember suddenly being in a bunkbed and then you leaving and being kind of repulsed 

also, idk if you care but a million years ago I hooked up w Baknel again after a while apart and it was similarly sad because although we were touching each other, he wouldn’t kiss me and it made me feel similarly awful and alone and FYI: don’t solicit affection from someone but then make them feel foolish for wanting    . It’s a huge fucking power trip. I

I feel really shitty about yesterday. I don’t remember how we started cuddling and I didn’t think I was responsible, so you acting repulsed by me when you clearly were comfortable enough holding me kind of hurt and seemed like a power trip (whether intentional or not) on your part. Anyway, I want to drive the point home that regardless of what happens or doesn’t, it is crystal clear to me that we are not going to be romantically involved in any way and no one here is confused about that!

 You don’t need to be cautious because I am not deluded or hung up on you and no one is confused about what is what. I was just very drunk. Anyway, yeah, just putting it out there that regardless of your intention, I feel 

anyway, if you did indeed consent to touching me, I just want to let you know that it’s kind of a 

Hey, so I feel kind of sick about yesterday. I could go into the nuances of why it hurt me (and, actually, they don’t have to do with me still wanting to be with you or anything in that vein) but I guess I’ll just say that, although I don’t strictly remember how we ended up cuddling  am not fully sure how it happened, and that it’s not a big deal and wouldn’t be if it happened again. 

Yo just want to let you know that, although I briefly enjoyed it, I didn’t intend to cuddle you yesterday (and don’t remember exactly how it happened seeing as I was SO. DRUNK.) and it hurt when you acted repulsed towards me/ran away instead of wanting to talk to me or comfort me when I was feeling super fucking horrible both physically and spiritually. Anyway, ofc it’s not a big deal, but I just wanted to let you know that that hurt me and also that there’s no reason to EVER act afraid of me because I do not harbour any latent dreams of pursuing anything romantic w you (and acting as if I do is a power trip ya don’t need to take). Okay? okay.