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~~~songoftheday~~~


~~~streamofsomething~~~

Attention: I am writing about the infamous sex-app, Tinder. Why? Because in a bout of desperation and nihilism I thought why the fuck not and downloaded it.
viewer discretion is advised. 

--- today---
Well, I bought and fixed up the perfect '70s touring bike on Craigslist from the designer of this bridge, found some potential homes in the Annex and cleaned a mattress for when I move the fuck OUT. But after that, I decided that contrary to popular belief, I am actually not too good for Tinder. Because, let's be real here. I haven't had sex since January. January! This is a travesty! Aren't girls supposed to be getting hit on a little more than this? I feel like I'm the only person in Toronto with a sex drive and a sense of adventure! SERIOUSLY EVERY GUY I'VE DATED HAS BEEN A COMPLETE COWARD/"GENTLEMAN"/"GOOD GUY" AND I AM FINISHED WITH BEING A NICE, SOFT, SWEET, WELL-BEHAVED FEMALE WITH NO DESIRES OF HER OWN. FINISHED. So, after a good 3 months of conscientious dating, trying to get to know people and do it properly, I realized I wanted to cut the bullshit and 'play the fields' as my mom so aptly calls it. But not play them for true love, because "Tinder is a true love-app" said no one ever. No, I'm playing them for maybe some strange adventures and a few good old fashioned one-night-stands with offbeat/funny human males. 

Let me let you in on my little all-night Tinder adventure. (I marathoned Breaking Bad too, so like not a totally wasted evening). 

Highlights of my evening with Tinder, Netflix and my cat?

- apparently running away to Cali, selling breaded-roadkill out of a food-truck with some dude, Ronen
- watching only the worst Nic Cage films and sipping Gin with some dude who apparently chills with Drake
- this: 


* sorry this post was never finished because I probably passed out 3 months ago when I posted it. and never woke back up. dun dun dun.*